Another in an ongoing series. Luckily, as more agencies fail every day, I get increasingly closer to my goal of mocking all of them until I desperately crawl back to one, begging for a job and hoping their HR people don’t read this blog.
Potential Weiden employees after looking Dan Weiden in the eyes.
WEIDEN AND KENNEDY
In short: Perhaps the last, great independent agency, Weiden & Kennedy may be the most revered creative shop in the world. Headquartered in Portland, Oregon, and famous for their Nike work, including the famous Just Do It campaign, the agency was founded by two former opium-dealers, Dan Weiden and David Kennedy. Legend holds that when Dan Weiden and David Kennedy die, the agency will burst into bright orange flames, then disappear into a plume of yellow smoke, killing everyone who works there. That’s only part of what makes working there challenging.
Are the people who work their crazy: Oh yes.
Policy on drinking beer in the office: Always.
Agency nickname: Achoo! (it’s an inside joke that only the copywriters who work there get)
If you want a job there: Do not, under any circumstances, look Dan Weiden in the eyes. You will turn to stone and also not get the job.
Fun fact: The agency was the focus of an, at times, unflattering book, Where the Suckers Moon, which shows the agency’s failed relationship with Subaru. When the book first came out, Dan Weiden took it in stride saying it was a “cute read,” but later, when everyone had forgotten about it, Weiden had the book’s author, Randall Rothenberg, shot and stuffed. His head now sits on a mantle in the sitting room of one of Weiden’s country homes and visitors are encouraged to rub it for good luck.
Absolutely True Story: While I’ve never worked there, this agency more than any other is responsible for my ill-fated flirtation with advertising. When I was in college, planning on a life as a newspaper reporter, a copywriter from Weiden And Kennedy came to our class and told us about his job. He lived in Amsterdam and, according to him, spent his days drinking beer, smoking pot, and dreaming up crazy ad ideas for the best brands in the world. In short, he assured us, it was the most awesome thing ever. Upon hearing this, I set my heart on working in advertising. I would only learn later that this copywriter was in fact a cyborg created with the sole purpose of duping young people like me into working in advertising. I should have known because he demonstrated some key cyborg traits such as not understanding human emotions and occasionally shooting people with his laser eyes (though all Weiden employees get laser eyes after the first year, so this in itself, is not a reliable cyborg-predictor).
