The newspaper industry tries to reverse declining readership by advertising in newspapers.
Archive for September, 2010
Is this circular logic?
Wednesday, September 29th, 2010Today in North Korean Politics
Tuesday, September 28th, 201027 or 28-year-old Kim Jong Un, known to North Korean insiders as “Unny,” was named Vice Chairmen of the Workers Party.
Am I disappointed I didn’t get the position? I don’t know–I feel my application was strong, and while I know I didn’t ace the phone interview, you always think you have a good chance at these things. Unny is a smart kid, and I’m not taking anything away from him, but it’s not like he invented rainbows like his father. That’s all I’m saying.
Anyways, congrats Unny. Good luck sinking South Korean boats, devaluing your currency, and trading enriched uranium for lettuce.
Happy National Punctuation; Day
Friday, September 24th, 2010Today is National Punctuation Day! While purists contend the holiday has gotten too commercial: I still enjoy the sense of togetherness, the music, the food, (and yes, the bountiful punctuation gifts we exchange under the ampersand tree). Call me a punctuation snob if you will [but] this is one holiday I can get behind–
So happy “punctuation/ day”. one and all?
B is for Boobs: Sesame Street boots Katy Perry
Thursday, September 23rd, 2010Kate Perry got kicked off sesame street for showing too much cleavage. Ok, her outfit is a little racy for Sesame Street, but is it worse than the Big Bird accidental nipple of 1997? I doubt it. Really, the worst thing about her performance is the terrible, terrible acting. You call that playing tag Katy? It’s not good when Elmo is more believable than you.
This week in great marketing ideas: Titanic Cruises
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010Cruise liners are scrambling to put together commemorative cruises to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Titanic (the boat, not the movie).
Apparently they’re promising that 62% of passengers will drown and die.
A little gimmicky, I think. Personally, I’ll wait for the commemorative 100th anniversary Hindenburg zeppelin flight, just around the corner in 2037.
Stuff that looks like tomatoes
Friday, September 17th, 2010And now, another exciting edition of our popular series, “Stuff that Looks like Tomatoes”…
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Apples
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Human Heart
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Former Russian President Boris Yeltsin
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Plastic tomatoes
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Certain Snorks
Best-selling novel idea in 15 seconds
Tuesday, September 14th, 2010After listening to an amazing book on tape by Janet Evanovich, the 15th book in her very popular series about bounty hunter Stephanie Plum, who gets into all sorts of trouble (and has a hilarious side-kick that farts a lot–FARTS!–not to mention talks with an outrageous African American dialect that is just so priceless and not at all cartoonish and racist)–anyways, after being introduced to this literary gem (and I always start any book series with the 15th book in the series–it takes that long for a writer to really hit her stride), it got me thinking–this best selling author thing could be a sweet gig.
So here goes, my novel pitch which I came-up with in about 15 seconds.
Title: Locker Room
Leslie Luck is a sideline sports reporter who isn’t just a beauty–she’s actually a sports fanatic. Raised by her football-loving father (her mother was killed in a car accident when she was 4), she can keep up with the boys. But when she discovers the star athlete of the Arizona Agronauts dead in the locker room, she’s got a much bigger story on her hand than she counted on. Throw in a bad-boy ex-boyfriend, a mob hit-man, a referee with a gambling problem, and a city desperate for a winning football team, and suddenly Leslie Luck finds herself in the center of a case bigger than even she could imagine.
When poems hit rock-bottom
Monday, September 13th, 2010Slam poets sometimes get a bad name for being, uh, bad. But when a country singer has plagiarized your work…well I guess it’s one step up from a Miller Lite ad.
Though the T.S. Eliot Miller Lite campaign based on “The Hollow Men” was pretty good.
For slam poets looking for recognition from the larger literary community, this isn’t going to help.
Am I the first person to think about this?
Wednesday, September 8th, 2010If they celebrate Christmas in Harry Potter, does that mean they believe in Jesus? Was Jesus a wizzard or a muggle?
Also, if the universe is infinite and so is time and all things are not only possible and probable, then does that mean that Tom Cruise is right…eventually?
And if how you decorate you cubicle really does reflect on your identity, what does it mean that my cubicle is filled with pictures of the guy who used to work there before me because I’m too lazy to take them down and besides, he seems like a fun guy that likes BBQing and making funny faces with groups of people holding up beer bottles?
And finally, if the lottery took all the money they spent on advertising and used it to buy lottery tickets instead, wouldn’t that be a smarter investment because they would get guaranteed sales and, if they won, they’d get all their money back?
This is what happens when you pick your governor from a bowling alley bar
Thursday, September 2nd, 2010Some things are too funny to even comment on. They speak for themselves. Well, speak might be a stretch–stammer maybe?