All my life, I’ve lived in relatively large cities, or at least near large cities, but secretly, I’ve wondered what it might be like to live in a small racist town. I mean, big cities have lots of advantages, but it can be really lonely and impersonal. In Los Angeles, you may be surrounded by 3 million people and only know 20 or 30 of them. Most people don’t even know their next door neighbors. But it’s not like that in a small racist town.
In a small racist town, everyone knows everyone’s name, and they are sure to say high to you on the street and tell you a quirky story about their family or maybe just share a funny racist anecdote. Everyone is a character, from the eccentric town mayor to the old guy who plays chess by the general store and hates Jews. I know my vision of the small racist town may be idealized, but I like to believe that it still exists. We should never forget that America was founded on small racist towns—in fact, at one point almost everyone lived in a small racist town where there were no chain restaurants or books on evolution. Of course, for a small racist town to really be a small racist town, there has to be a greasy spoon diner. You know what I’m talking about. The kind of place where you can get fresh pie or fried chicken, enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning, or maybe a nice warm racist meal on a cold day.
Of course, nowadays, all the small racist towns are being gobbled up, what with your Walmarts and your suburban sprawl. It still exists in Hollywood and on TV where the small racist town is alive and well (think of Gilmore Girls, for example), but does it exit in the real world? I believe it does, though you have to search. Real small racists towns aren’t off the freeway. I may never actually live in a small racist town, but I can’t help wondering how my life would be different if I had? When I think of all the small town racist adventures I missed out on because of where I lived, it makes me sad. But at least I hope, one day, to visit a really racist small town and see for myself what it is that makes America, America.
Hey! I live in a small town and it most definitely is not racist. I mean, okay, everyone is a Republican and white, and they did file a petition to block BET from being included in the local cable package but–but–oh, forget it.
We live in a large racist town–what, is that not good enough for you?
I want racist-quirky, not racist strip-mally.