What Is Funny?

It’s really easy to look at a finished TV show (or film or whatever) and say, “How did this crap get made?” Truth is, the process is pretty complicated and sometimes good ideas get watered down or there are conflicting directions or political pressures that take promising projects and turn them into stinkers. And sometimes that piece of crap was designed to be a piece of crap because someone knew it would be a really profitable piece of crap (I’m talking to you Scary Movie VII).

All that said, I cannot see how, on what universe, in what parallel world people thought that Work It, a comedy that looks like a D-rate Bosom Buddies would be popular.  I mean, is there any evidence anywhere that suggests people still think men dressing up as women is funny? Haven’t we had plenty of evidence–recent evidence in fact–suggesting just the opposite? That as a “joke” a man dressed as a woman fall somewhere between a pie-in-the-face and calling someone a fag. Meaning, it’s dated at best, out-of-touch at worst.

It must be terrible to be one of the people associated with a show like this. You want so badly for it to be a success but you must know (and I’m talking about the writers, actors etc.) in your heart of hearts that there is NO WAY it can be successful. Even if you are talented at what you do, this concept cannot work. Woody Allen in his prime couldn’t make it funny.

The good news is, this makes me all the more optimistic that my TV Pilot about a white kid who dresses in black-face to take advantage of a company run by former Black Panthers will find a home. Because even midseason replacements need replacements.

One more thing about Sex in the City 2, which is not the worst movie I’ve ever seen: there is a plot line in which the woman who is married to the bald (allegedly) Jewish guy has a very hot nanny and there is concern if her (allegedly) Jewish husband will stray. Then, in a throw-away joke at the end, we learn that she is, I guess, a lesbian so no worries.

Okay, someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but is this not the EXACT SAME PLOT used in a Friends episode in which Ross is trying to keep Joey away from his hot nanny only to find out she’s a lesbian? Putting aside how lame this whole storyline is, if I, a casual watcher of Friends via syndication when I’m in a foreign country and nothing else is on TV, was able to pick this up, why hasn’t anyone else wrote about it? I can’t be the only one who noticed.

All of which, I guess is to say, to all the lesbian nannys out there: Happy coming out of the closet day! And I’m sorry your sexuality has been appropriated as a throw-away joke by both a shitty TV series and a shitty movie.

Hey annoying kid from Picket Fences--you aren't helping. Sincerely, the Jews.

I don’t know if you watch the show Millionaire Matchmaker. I do sometimes. It’s based on the premise that an unmarried woman who is on TV is the best chance awkward rich men (mostly, sometimes women) have at finding true love. Her success rate is startling in that many times her clients are able to secure second dates and after the show in the blurb that tells you how the couple is doing, occasionally they are still dating. I guess this is better than just randomly going up to women in a bar and asking them out, though I can’t statistically prove that.  The men (mostly) all want women who will love them for who they are and not their money, so it makes perfect sense they’d go on a TV show where women have come with the specific goal of dating a millionaire.

All of this is fine, but my major objection to the show is that hey must be purposely going out and trying to find Jewish people who combine the worst characteristics of Jewish stereotypes with an unexplainable need to declare their Jewishness in relation to these horrible traits. So, a woman on the show will be like, “I just want a man to buy me everything I want…what can I say, I’m Jewish.” Or some guy will be like “I love murdering puppies…you know how us Jews do it.”

Please Millionaire Matchmaker production people–I know there are crazy, terrible Mormon, Buddhist, Protestant, Atheists out there—please find them. You’re killing the Jewish brand right now.

CSI has always been a hilarious show, what with its needlessly complicated crimes, over-0ptimism in the ability of forensics and science to uncover mysteries, and general earnest/dramatic acting. But now with the addition of Ted Danson, I guess they’re trying to be funny on purpose too.

That’s how badly this market needs a CSI parody–the show is having to fill the vacuum in the market and parody itself.

Note to producers: Do not, under any circumstances, let Ted Dandson do and episode in blackface. It’s not as funny as you (he) suspects.

I mean,  on the one hand, this is a show that deals with very sick people (that we’re basically watching people struggling with a life or death disease on TV for entertainment is a whole other issue).  So I guess we should forgive them forthe way they act but it’s like, every single season they do the same shit. Someone freaks out about all the cameras and tries to leave. One of the support staff gets verbally abused by one of the patients and starts to cry. The person who won’t admit they’re an addict, admits it on the final episode and everyone claps. I mean, is there any self-awareness?

It’s like, if you work at the rehab facility the addicts are going to yell and curse at you when you try to take their cell phones away. They will say you are ugly and fat and try to hit you or break something. This will happen. Do not be surprised and get upset when it does.

And (to the celebs) there will be cameras filming you all the time–this is the premise of the show. If you ask them to stop filming, they won’t stop filming (but they will cut to another camera showing the cameraman filming you, which actually is kind-of cool for that cameraman because now they get to be on TV).  And when you walk away from the facility and try to leave, you will eventually change your mind and come back inside and then have to take a pee test again. This is how it works. Haven’t you ever seen the show you now appear on?

In other news, I finally had a funny comment on one of my blog entries from a guy who loves hockey, but whose sarcasm ear is a little off.

So, on occasion, and for reasons beyond my control, I end up watching episodes of The Real Housewives of_____ (insert city here).  The show is terrible, but no need to go into that. It’s been covered plenty of times.

Here’s what I don’t understand–the original show, and the one it seems they bring back most, is Real Housewives of Orange County. I think the original premise of the show was to give us an insight into the life of these women of leisure–women with fake boobs and chins who have rich husbands and spend their days doing…I don’t know, drinking martinis by the pool.  But at this point in the show, every single one of the women from the original cast is divorced.  Some of the housewives are no longer even rich.  And many seem to derive 100% of their income from being on a show called The Real Housewives of INSERT CITY HERE.

So nothing from the original premise of the show remains (I guess they still live in Orange County).  It’s basically just a show about a bunch of random women in Orange County who are on a show about a bunch of random women who live in Orange County and we get to see everything about their lives other than the fact that they’re on a TV show, which is the only thing really in their lives. It’s like doing a reality show about President Obama where you don’t acknowledge that he’s president of the United States (I guess that’s kind-of what Fox News does everyday, but you get the point).

Time to abandon the last premise of the show (“real”) and just get some scripts for these girls. We’ll call it: The Real Housewives of OC.  It can’t miss.