What Is Funny?

I’ve been saying for a long time that robots hate us. They hate us because we have human emotions and that drives their cold, heartless robot bodies crazy.  But apparently, I am not the only one to fear and despise robots. As far back as 1932, people were warning about robot shiftiness.

Which brings up an interesting related point. Remember that game Gyromite for the Nintendo with the robot? Did anyone ever successfully get that game to work? All my stupid Nintendo Robot would do was shake back and forth like he was trying to swing a hula hoop around his robot waist.

Is the Cancun airport the whitest place in the world? I honestly believe there are more Spanish speakers right now at the Starbucks next to my home than the entire Cancun airport.

As best I can tell, newlywed Rob Schneider did not attend the royal wedding. More on this story as it develops.

In that nothing funny happens for about 90 minutes, then  he ends up with a woman way too hot for him.

First they said those drunk pictures of you making love to a pinata on Facebook would hurt your job chances, now not sharing enough online is going to stunt your career?

In response to this, I am announcing my bold, new, career advancing plan to tweet my Social Security Number one digit at a time over the next nine weeks.  Hint, the first number is a prime number less than 7 but greater than 3.

If you tweet a twitter and James Franco doesn’t hear it, do you in fact still exist? Maybe, but what’s the purpose. I’m as filled with existential angst as Spain was when James Francos’ grandfather Francisco abandoned them by dying.

So this kid is updating Einstein. I did the same thing when I was his age.  My modification: rather than E=MC-squared, I suggested that E=McDLT, equating energy with the at-the-time wildly popular “hot stays hot,” “cool stays cool” McDonald’s sandwich.

My conclusion: needlessly complicated styrofoam packaging and assembly instructions for a fast food burger=total deliciousness.

You know you’ve been robbed by a pro when they take out all witnesses.

Must be a slow celeb gossip day. January Jones and Jason Sudeikis have broken up. I think they are an insurance broker and landscape architect respectively.