Okay, the results are in from the Late Night Smackdown, where I took on the kings of Late Night TV and their writers in a certified joke-off. Things stacked pretty nicely in my favor as Kimmel, Fallon, and Ferguson were on re-runs, thus swiftly reducing the field by 60%. As expected, however, both Conan and Letterman hit the Palin resignation theme pretty consistently throughout the week. Palin is undoubtedly easy joke fodder–perhaps too easy as for the most part, everyone hit the same notes. So let’s see the results–I present a sample from both Conan and Letterman alongside my own effort, then declare the winner.
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Conan lead off with Palin indirectly, after tying it into Obama’s trip to Russia. Obama in Russia. Palin resigning–it’s one of those situations where the joke is too obvious not to write. (note that these aren’t exactly word for word, but close enough–we’re not electing a Minnesota Senator here):
President Obama is in Russia for a historic trip. Yeah, he went to Russia because from there you can see Sarah Palin cleaning out her office in Alaska.
I’m sure you saw this–Sarah Palin shocked the world by resigning as governor of Alaska. Republicans aren’t sure who will fill that role, but they’re in talk with several of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Sarah Palin apparently polled her children on whether she should resign or not and the count was unanimous. Even her children thought she was in over her head.
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David Letterman waited until the very end of his monologue on Monday to address the Palin resignation. Given the Letterman-Palin history, he didn’t have to say much to get laughs from his audience:
President Obama is in Russian and we know this because Sarah Palin says she can see him from her house.
Surprising announcement–Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin is stepping down. (Off the applause) Something I said?
A lot of people do this when they step down, you know, the;y blame the media. Today, as a matter of fact, Sarah Palin was up in a helicopter shooting Wolf Blitzer.
Before Palin decided to quite, she called Dick Cheney. This is great because, when you want advice on strategic maneuvers, you go to the architect of the Iraq war.
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And as a reminder, here is my entry. Critics will say the competition isn’t really fair since I get to spend all weekend cherry picking the one joke and topic I want to write about whereas the writers on these shows have to put together 5, 1 hour shows worth of content. But are those writers also trying to learn Yiddish too? I think not…so hak mir nit kein tshainik already.
Surprising news this weekend. Sarah Palin stepped down as Governor of Alaska after only 2 1/2 years on the job. While some see this as a blow to Palin’s 2012 presidential aspirations, others see it as proof that she can deliver on her controversial campaign pledge to complete her first four year term as president in only two years.
In justifying her departure, Palin said that “only dead fish go with the flow.” And she would know–you get a really good look at what happens to dead fish when you’re shooting them from your helicopter.
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And the results: The “see Russia from Alaska” jokes were too easy not to make, so it’s not surprising they found their way onto both Conan and Letterman. I like Conan’s twist on Palin’s kids not believing in her either. Letterman gets the biggest laugh from his “something I said” aside, but that’s something only he could pull of givent he circumstances. In the end, the field seems pretty even, so I’m declaring the winner as the only joke that actually made me laugh out loud–and that would be…
Scott. Our loyal reader whose entry into the competition was as follows:
Palin closed her remarks by invoking a quote that she attributed to Gen. Douglas MacArthur: “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.” Some have speculated whether this quote was hinting at a future presidential run. It has since been confirmed that her and her family are planning to attack Russia.
I like the joke because it manages to do what is so hard with a Palin joke–take her words and make them more ridiculous than they originally were. Too often, Palin is both premise and punchline. The joke is almost redundant. Here, we take what is really a stupid thing to say, and find a sideways punchline that is even stupider.
But even if I didn’t win, a top 4 finish aint bad.
Tags: I Could Totally Do That
Why do I get the feeling that Conan, Letterman, Scott, and you are all the same person?
Oh, I was going to write one in but I forgot to! Is it too late to win the prize? BTW, next time you do a contest, you should offer a prize. Maybe you should take a page from one of those radio promotions you used to love working on so much!
For Mr. T: I pity the fool who thinks I’m dishonest about my identity. Don’t eat my cereal.
Jenna: First 100 callers win a 15% discount on your next purchase at the Whatisfunny.net store. Not valid in all states. Price and participation may vary.