It’s time for another addition of the I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT, LATE NIGHT SMACKDOWN, where I prove that I could totally write jokes for late night TV by taking on the top Late Night shows in a head-to-head jokeoff. As loyal readers will know, my record in this ongoing competition speaks for itself (2 wins, 36 losses, and 1 tie).
For those new to this blog, the game is pretty simple. First, we pick a topic certain to make it through the late night monologue circuit. In this case, Sarah Palin’s decision to step down as Alaska’s governor ought to do the trick. Next, I write a monologue joke in the style of your typical Late Night TV show and see if my joke is better than (or identical to) what turns up on late night TV. Here are the rules:
- I will offer my best “joke” on the Palin resignation below (okay, it’s a 2-in-1 joke actually). Please note that “best” and “joke” are both relative terms.
- Over the next week, I’ll try my best to watch as many of the major late night TV shows as possible, and listen to their Palin jokes (this process is somewhat limited by both the bandwidth of my DVR and my 10:45 bedtime).
- On Sunday of next week, I’ll report what I deem each show’s best effort, and declare a winner based on my a process that is at least as objective and fair as an Iranian election.
- Bonus points if my joke is exactly the same as one of the late night jokes.
- As always, readers are welcome to enter their own jokes in the comments section, though I may (and probably will) edit them to make them look a lot less funny than mine.
So with that, let’s play: I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT, LATE NIGHT SMACKDOWN. Here is my entry:
Surprising news this weekend. Sarah Palin stepped down as Governor of Alaska after only 2 1/2 years on the job. While some see this as a blow to Palin’s 2012 presidential aspirations, others see it as proof that she can deliver on her controversial campaign pledge to complete her first four year term as president in only two years.
In justifying her departure, Palin said that “only dead fish go with the flow.” And she would know–you get a really good look at what happens to dead fish when you’re shooting them from your helicopter.
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Okay.
Now, let’s meet the field of competitors (Clockwise from Upper Left): David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Me, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson. May the best joke(s) win.
Tags: I Could Totally Do That, jokes
Palin closed her remarks by invoking a quote that she attributed to Gen. Douglas MacArthur: “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.” Some have speculated whether this quote was hinting at a future presidential run. It has since been confirmed that her and her family are planning to attack Russia.
Okay, that was good. I’m already in 2nd place.
[...] the results are in from the Late Night Smackdown, where I took on the kings of Late Night TV and their writers in a certified joke-off. Things [...]