Person doing good at luge for unknown reasons
There are many winter Olympic events that are peculiar—curling and the biathlon are two of the favorites in the category of Olympic oddities—but to me the Luge remains one of the most mysterious.
On its surface, the Luge appears to be nothing more than a guy on a small sled, sliding down a crazy, waterslide-like course that’s very icy and fast. I’m not sure what makes a good luger vs. a bad luger, and what’s more, I’m particularly confused as to how someone gets into luging in the first place.
At what point does a person decide, “Hey, you know what I think I’d be really good at? Sliding on my back down a long track of ice.” How do luge coaches identify potential talent? Do they hang out watching young kids sledding and then approach one: “Kid, I won’t lie–you’re an amazing sledder. How’d you like to do this for a living?”
Because I don’t know what makes a good luger, and because I’ve never done it, it is possible that I too could have been an Olympic luger. My body is pretty aerodynamic, which I feel is key, and I’m good at lying down. It seems like I have everything one needs to be successful. If someone had even tried to encourage me, who knows where I might be right now? Flying on my back at 80 mph to the cheers of the crowd, though when you’re sliding on your back at 80 mph I don’t know if you can actually hear any cheers.
In my ignorance, the Luge is an arbitrary sport—the equivalent of shoving rocks down a mountain side to see which one will hit the bottom first. As proof of this, listening to the commentary the other day, it was clear the announcers had NO CLUE as to whether any individual luger was doing well or not until they made it to the bottom:
Oooh, a little high on that turn. He’s very sloppy coming out of his breaks. You can see he’s losing a lot of speed by not maintaining his lie. And there’s another high turn there—he just doesn’t seem to have it. Lots of drag here and coming down the stretch and…he did it! GOLD MEDAL RUN! Amazing!!!
Based on the logic of the Luge, I’m really hoping my new, invented sport will eventually catch on. It’s called PLOWZING and it basically entails going up to the top of a very difficult ski run, and then falling down it. Points are assigned based on speed and volume of snow displaced, and based on the few times I’ve gone skiing, I’m really good at it.
Tags: luge, winter olympics