According to reliable sources, President Obama wrote a letter to North Korea’s beloved leader, Kim Jong II. While details of this letter are being kept tightly under wraps, our ace blogger, blogging live from Pyongyon for our North Korean Version of the blog (What is Funny? Not starving to death!) was able to uncover large sections of the letter, which we gladly present to you at great risk to our selves:
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Dear Kimmy,
Well, another year has come and gone. I was just saying to Michelle the other day, it’s amazing how much Malia and Sasha have grown since last Christmas. Obviously, for all of us it’s been a roller coaster of a year. Winning the presidency was totally awesome (especially because it was in a democratically held election, hint, hint). The economy has pretty much sucked all year, but hey, at least we don’t have mass starvation like you guys! LOL.
BTW, in answer to your last letter, no, we haven’t been watching Dexter, but I understand it’s great. Gotta catch up on DVD because I don’t get showtime. I’m always telling Michelle we should get it, but she says we’d spend all day watching TV if we did and besides, the cable companies totally rip you off for premium channels. Time for DIRECTV anyone? ROTFL. Of course, I can only imagine how crappy the cable packages are in NK—I mean, do you even get Versus? Probably not seeing how there aren’t even street lights in NK!!! OMG I couldn’t imagine.
Anyways, just wanted to wish you and your concubine a really happy, healthy holidays. If you got that bottle of 70 year-old scotch I sent, please, please, please enjoy it in moderation. We worry about you Kimmy. Really, maybe you should take up some exercise? This pilates thing looks like it might be for real. Just FYI.
Also, don’t blow up the world. I know your country doesn’t really use any of it, but the rest of us kind-of are enjoying it.
KIT. TTYL.
XOXO
Barack O.
Tags: barack obama, Kim Jong II