An excerpt from a dialogue I woke up to while flying from Los Angeles to Phoenix. Carried forth by the two guys sitting next to me on the plane (Young Guy and Fat Guy) who are coming to a city near you.
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Young Guy: I guess I don’t have a favorite gun.
Fat Guy: You gotta have a favorite gun. You’re a military guy, right?
Young Guy: Reserve.
Fat Guy: That’s like me.
Young Guy: You were in the reserves?
Fat Guy: No. I was in a local, uh, militia I guess you’d call it.
Young Guy: Oh.
Fat Guy: Not the bad kind.
Young Guy: No.
Fat Guy: You know Timmothy McVeigh?
Young Guy: Huh?
Fat Guy: Oklahoma City bomber?
Young Guy: I’ve never been to Oklahoma City.
Fat Guy: (inaudible)
Young Guy: I like the 32.
Fat Guy: You ever fire those monolithic bullets?
Young Guy: We only use m-gage or penetrators.
Fat Guy: I love the 10mm
Young Guy: Yeah, I love the 10mm.
Fat Guy: It’s like…it’s like a smooth, very smooth. Like a baby. You know?
Young Guy: Huh?
Fat Guy: I have a friend you know, he caught one of those monolithic bullets in the face.
Young Guy: Oh man. Awesome.
Fat Guy: Yeah.
Young Guy: That’s awesome. What did he say? I mean, he must have been pissed.
Fat Guy: Naw, he just died. Died on impact. His face was all…blown apart.
Young Gun: Monolitihic wouldn’t do that. Must have been a full metal jacket.
Fat Guy: No, no, monolithic. It was pretty close range.
Young Guy: I’d be pissed.
Fat Guy: You’d be dead.
Young Guy: I don’t know. Maybe.
Fat Guy: It’s the thing about a sledge hammer. You have a big sledge hammer right and it can do more damage you think. But a small sledge hammer has greater velocity. It’s physics really. There’s a big difference between velocity and energy.
Young Guy: They serve pretzels yet or what?
Fat Guy: They’re cutting out the pretzels. What about lead bullets?
Young Guy: Can you melt a lead bullet? I think you can.
Fat Guy: Yeah. You know, I mean, what about the 44 magnum?
Young Guy: That’s a gun.
Fat Guy: Yeah. You said it. I kind of wish I had a gun right now.
Young Guy: Me too.
Fat Guy: I don’t know why, but I wish I had that, if I could choose a gun.
Young Guy: Yeah.
Fat Guy: Well.
Young Guy: I’m sorry about your friend. And his face.
Fat Guy: Ah. He was an asshole.
Young Guy: I wish they gave out pretzels on the plane. Not just peanuts.
Fat Guy: Fuckers. It’s like that president of ours–
Young Guy: Don’t get me started.
Fat Guy: I won’t. But it’s like that. Just like that.
Tags: Overheard
Curse you, pretzel-withholding president! You really can’t make this stuff up.
“He must have been pissed.”
“Naw, he just died.”
(Nice use of dialect, there.)
Kind of makes you wish you had a gun yourself, don’t it?