Candy Bars and What They Teach Us

twixTwix: There is something about the ix ending that is irresistible to packaged food producers. Trix, Twix, Kix.  Okay, so there’s only three examples. But that’s a lot considering there are no real words in the English language that end with ix. That I can think of now.

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snickersSnickers: In the original ad campaigns, this was presented as a way of satisfying your hunger when you don’t have time for a meal.  As in, don’t eat a meal, just eat this candy bar. I think it’s painfully clear what that says about us as a culture.

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milky wayMilky Way: Our galaxy is a fascinating place, full of unknown wonders. More to the point, when dropped in a swimming pool, this candy bar looks remarkably like a dookie.

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butterfingerButterfingers: A perfect symbol of the old Marxist dilemma: No matter how hard you try to conatin the delicious taste of peanut brittle in a candy bar, as soon as you bite into it it will break into pieces all over your nice new shirt.

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3MsktrsMainThree Muketeers: There is no French novel so sacred that we can’t also eat it.

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ohhenryOh Henry: Why isn’t this candy bar popular? Chocolate, caramel, fudge, peanuts.  Then you read the fine print: no nougat. This is a nougat country, and don’t you forget it.

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almonbarMounds/Almond Joy: What confused me is you’d think Mounds would have nuts in it. But of course Almond Joy has the nuts and Mounds just has coconut. So what are the mounds? Mounds of what?

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2 Responses to “Candy Bars and What They Teach Us”

  1. JLowe says:

    You forgot Whatchamacallit! Candy bars whose names end in exclams.

  2. Brian says:

    Whatchamacalit!–that is one poorly marketed candy bar, I must say.

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