Just some quick hitters to get you through the day…
Reverend Wright is up to his old tricks, telling reporters that the Jews won’t let Obama talk to him. The story is obviously a ridiculous lie. Everyone knows a devote Muslim like Obama would never let the Jews boss him around.
Bad news for the GOP. A majority of Americans are unsure exactly who speaks for the Republican party these days. Given whose been speaking for the Republican party these days, this actually might be good news.
Looks like Chrysler and Fiat are going to merge in a strategic alliance. This marks the most successful American-Italian alliance since Domino’s pioneered the Philly Cheese Steak Pizza.
I think the merger will be a success because both companies share a common vision: producing cars that no one wants.
A man is suing Match.com for failing to get him a date. He said the service misrepresented itself because many of the women featured on the site would not return his e-mails. I can’t think of any explanation for that, unless creepy middle-aged men who sue dating companies are less desirable than they used to be.
The good news for this guy, this whole incident is going to make the perfect teaser for his e-Harmony profile.
A police sergeant in Milwaukee is in trouble for trying to line up a date with a suspect she thought was hot. See, you don’t need Match.com. If you want to meet women, commit mail fraud in Milwaukee.
Carrie Prejan’s troubled reign as Miss California has come to an end for “contract violations,” such as missing pageant events. So in California, a step back for gay rights becomes a step forward for the sanctity of obscure bureaucratic pageant procedures.
Proverb of the Day: A stitch in time saves nine, but teach a man to fish and you can feed a village.
I can’t stop thinking about that cheese steak pizza–it really is a smart idea. There are so many times when I’m devouring an entire greasy pizza that I think, “You know, at this rate it’s going to take me forever to clog my arteries. There has to be a faster way.”
Yum.
Tags: jokes, Quick Hits