It’s time for another addition of Adverbed!, where we take boring news stories, and make them fun and exciting with the addition of a few, carefully considered Adverbs (as well as other adjectives and modifiers).
This week we take on the (YAWN!), Sotomayor Supreme Court confirmation hearings, which are about as dry as Jon Cleese at an Oscar Wilde convention. That is, they were that dry…until now! (added language in BOLD).
The following are excerpts from the official transcript for the Sotamayor confirmation hearing:
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“You said that, quote, you would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would reach wise decisions. … So tell us, you’ve heard all of these charges and countercharges, the wise Latina and on and on. Here’s your chance. You tell us — you tell us what’s going on here, Judge?” asked Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt lustily.
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“I think it’s consistent in the comments I’ve quoted to you and your previous statements that you do believe that your backgrounds will accept — affect the result in cases, and that’s troubling me. Don’t you think that is not consistent with your statement, that you believe your role as a judge is to serve the larger interest of impartial justice?” offered Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala douche-bagedly.
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“As you know, judge, the landmark case of Griswold v. Connecticut guarantees that there is a fundamental constitutional right to privacy as it applies to contraception. Do you agree with that? In your opinion, is that settled law?” probed Sen. Herb Kohl, D-Wis, fisting a ham and pastrami sandwich nostalgically.
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“If a holding in the Supreme Court means it is settled, do you believe that — that Gonzales v. Carhart, upholding the partial-birth abortion ban, is settled law?” quizzed Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah anti-semiticly.
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Does the Constitution authorize the president to not follow parts of laws duly passed by the Congress that he is willing to sign that he believes are an unconstitutional infringement on executive authority?” mused Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif giggling impishly.
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“Do you believe that the Supreme Court overstepped their constitutional authorities when they went beyond the words of the Constitution, in other words, to the word purpose, and thus expanded the ability of government to take an individual’s private property?” Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, asked fondling himself despondently.
Tags: adverbed, tongue in cheek
You know, I always thought Dianne Feinstein had an impish giggle.