I have cracked the formula for the CW’s primetime television lineup which includes such shows as Gossip Girls, 90210, and Melrose Place. With this formula, one should be able to predict with some 72% accuracy how individual shows will develop as well as what future shows will look like.
Here is the key.
- Plot begins with an unfortunate misunderstanding resulting from a key character drawing a wildly inaccurate conclusion after misinterpreting a piece of data. [Example: Skinny Blond High School Girl (SBHG) walks into her boyfriend’s room and discovers a scrunchie that looks similar to one her old friend, Skinny Brunette High School Girl (SBrHG), wore in 6th grade and thus, becomes convinced her boyfriend is sleeping with SBrHG].
- A strange coincidence occurs which prevents the very simple misunderstanding from being cleared up. [SBHG confronts SBrHG to see where she was the night previous. SBrHG cannot tell her because she happened to be at a restaurant where she saw SBHG’s super rich father making out with the high school principal and doesn’t want to blow his cover because he promised her he’d help her get into some terrible Ivy League School that no one would ever really want to go to. Accusations and tears follow]
- The conflict is unnecessarily heightened by a third party that, for some reason, benefits from the misunderstanding. [SBHG’s sister, who really is sleeping with her boyfriend, encourages SBHG to stab SBrHG or at least write mean things about her on Twitter]
- Irrational anger and bizarre happenstances allow the simple misunderstanding to continue through many, many episodes. [Desperate to clear her name, SBrHG goes to tell SBHG the truth, but SBHG cuts her off, refusing to talk and calls her something so horrible that SBrHG changes her mind about telling her the truth and instead decides, for whatever reason, to actually sleep with SBHG’s boyfriend, which is fine with the boyfriend who is really only a prop in this show anyways].
- A new bad girl comes to town and does bad things that complicate everything. [She probably smokes and steals things. Later we will see her softer side in an emotional episode where we learn she used to be poor.]
Of course the formula is flexible. So with the new series The Vampire Diaries we can expect the added element of people also getting bit by vampires and maybe flying. But the basic structure shouldl hold true.
PS (I have drawn this conclusion based on extensive research which includes watching 2 ½ episodes of Gossip Girls, 1 full episode of 90210 and the trailers for Melrose Place. Plus I went to the CW upfront back when I worked in advertising in 2007, where I just so happened to win a free recyclable tote bag. So yeah, I kind-of know what I’m talking about here).