The starting line-up for AR Pine Bluff, possible NCAA tourney favorites.
It’s the sports gamblers favorite time of year—the NCAA March Madness tournament. True, most people have already placed their bets and entered their March Madness pools, but that doesn’t mean having a little inside info on some of the favorites to win can’t still help you. Here is the inside info on the top teams that other sports sites simply REFUSE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH:
-
The Kansas Jayhawks: Everyone’s favorite to win the tourney, mostly because they are stalked with talent. Bud did you know that in many cultures the Jayhawk is considered an aphrodisiac? For best results, pluck, boil, and apply topically to the area in need of aphrodising.
-
Kentucky Wildcats: A young, talented team with the raw ability to win it all. They’re fighters, which is fitting given they go to Kentucky, a state known for its fighting spirit. It remains the only state not to have ceded the Civil War. They’re just waiting…biding their time…biding their time.
-
West Virginia Mountaineers: Not to be confused with Virginia, which is not in the tournament. A lot of people forget about this team, probably because they spend most of their time practicing in their secret layer built inside the Appalachian mountains.
-
Syracuse Orangemen: Why is a school in upstate New York called the Orangemen? Not, as internet rumors imply, because they are fascinated with spray-on tan. Rather, the name is much more literal. In the 1970s, Syracuse was the first academic institution to create a sentient fruit. Gary, the Orange who was able to express basic human emotions such as fear (of being eaten) and hope (of not being eaten). He was the first, and only, “orange man.” Why the school goes by the plural Orangemen, when there was only one ever created? Mainly puffery and arrogance.
-
Duke Blue Devils: The team everyone loves to hate. They have a great chance this year because of their controversial strategy of always playing with six players on the court. How do they pull this off? The sixth player is invisible. That’s why people hate Duke so much.
-
AR Pine Bluff Golden Lions: As of this writing, the AR Pine Bluff Golden Lions, set to face Duke in the opening round have NOT YET BEEN ELIMINATED! That’s right Golden Lion fans, there is hope still. As their website implies, ARPB is dedicated to: building a new social organism that will accommodate racial, ethnic and cultural pluralism in a manner that will enhance health of the nation. They have named this social organism BLOBO and he is said to be, currently, nine feet tall, made mostly of a green Jello like substance, and surly.
-
Georgetown Hoyas: There is only one reason Georgetown won’t win it all and that’s that they lost in the first round. If only I had read this before picking them in my pool to make it to the final four.
Tags: march madness