Once, Rebbe Eliezer fell asleep beneath an apple tree and had a dream. In his dream, he was sleeping beneath a pear tree, dreaming about sleeping beneath a fig tree which, for reasons unclear to the Rebbe, looked identical to a juniper tree. When he woke, he found he was actually inside his living room having drank too much plum brandy, thus proving the old proverb: There are many trees in the world, but few are found inside living rooms.
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A disciple of Rebbe Eliezer, having spent four straight days and nights studying the Torah, came to the Rebbe with a probing question. “What’s with all the smiting?” he asked. To which the Rebbe replied, “Who are we to question God? Have you ever smitted before? Maybe smiting is fun. If God wants to smite, who are we to say he shouldn’t smite. He created the Universe and everything in it—let him smite once in a while if it pleases him to do so. Plus, have you ever been smote? My friend Gary Berkowtiz was smitted just last week and now he spends his winters in Ft. Lauderdale betting on Jai-Lai and he’s never been happier!”
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Rebbe Eliezer was famous for his sense of humor and wicked backhand. To prove this he would often smash tennis balls into the backsides of unsuspecting daveners during certain High Holiday sermons. He also had a favorite joke which involved him hitting a student over the head with his tennis racket throughout the Passover seder.
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It is true that Rebbe Eliezer was highly superstitious. He never left the home without a handful of salt in his left pocket, and before crossing the street would hum the entire book of Leviticus to the tune of Bach’s Fuge in E minor. One of his more peculiar superstitions was his insistent belief that when eating a meal he be spoken too only in Greek, which the Rebbe could not understand. Some say this was in homage to the Macabees revolt against the Greek empire, though others say the Rebbe was just kind-of a jerk about these things.
Tags: Wisdom of the Rebbes
Pedro was JUST the other DAY telling me about The Profil by Kehlog Albran, and I was all, Dude, Briamond already did it better with the Wisdom of the Rebbes. And I was right.
Profil = Profit, ignore me, I am not a wise rebbe.
Don’t worry–when the messiah comes we will all be Profils in God’s eyes.